When nothing is easy but it feels the right kind of hard, you are probably in alignment.
I’ve been working hard lately. I’m no stranger to hard work. I almost always work hard in fact. I spent the last nine months working exceedingly hard at my job. This year was one of the most challenging of my career for a multitude of reasons and it left me exhausted. When the school year ended, I was beyond exhausted. I wanted to sleep and stare at a television and do nothing.
The day that I made this 2025 out of shells on the banks of the Saginaw river was one of the first days I started to thaw out. I sat in the sun with a full belly from a delicious bagel sandwich from Maggie’s in down town Bay City (seriously give it a try), with my parents, brother and his family. It was chilly, rainy, sunny, and windy but I could feel it all. I noticed it. I was able to take it all in. I wasn’t wishing for my bed or couch instead of being where I was. My nieces collected so many shells and I made art out of them. It felt good.
Since then I have worked on reseeding my lawn, getting my home together, planning for the future and exploring a new relationship. I have been busy and also not exhausted. This is how I know that the things I am doing are in alignment with my values, support my quality of life, and give me energy instead of zapping me of it. I am finding time for hard physical work, challenging mental challenges, and stimulating emotional experiences. I am resting as well and allowing time to process all of the happenings and digest them.
There has been years of growing and learning and working my behind off toward something I did not understand. I’m still not sure where I’m headed but I’m getting clues that I am going in the right direction. I often have to remind myself that just because the work is not draining me, that doesn’t mean it is not hard work. It is aligned work. This is not a new feeling to me but I must admit that this past year felt deeply out of alignment and I worried that I would never know the feeling again.
Sometimes the work needed to be done to be ready for the next chapter is painful, awful, lonely, and discouraging. These are times that I can be extra hard on myself, like I have done something wrong and I have to forgive myself for that. I have many people in my life that will remind me that I am doing my best and that things will always get different and then better, different and then better, on and on. The different part can last a really long time sometimes before the better happens.
I do not know how long this feeling of alignment will last. I do not know how long I will be challenged in the best way and I do not know how long I will feel this cherished and special, but I know that I will enjoy it now while it is here and remind myself that is will always come again when I am aligned with my purpose, my truth, myself and my people.